Thursday, February 10, 2011

Who Does it Hurt?

I will never understand the purpose behind saying crappy things to kids about their "other" parent.  I am divorced with a child from my previous marriage.  There were and still are times his dad pisses me off even almost 9 years later.  Our child has NEVER experienced that crap from me.

Does it make me nuts sometimes when I see facial expressions or mannerisms etc. of my ex in our child? Yes, it does.  But, he wouldn't be who he is without both of us.  And I love my son more just the way he is.

Saying things TO your kid about their home, their family, their clothes etc. with "the other parent" and family, doesn't hurt anyone EXCEPT your own child.

Putting your child in the shower the moment you get them back to your house because our house is "dirty" doesn't make ME feel badly...but hello there're telling your child that SHE is dirty.

Telling her we're lazy and fat and stupid doesn't hurt us.  But, rest assured it hurts HER. 

We just pick up your pieces.

When you look at your kid and say things that are hurtful and nasty about her "other parent", YOU ARE SAYING THEM ABOUT HALF OF HER.

Who does it hurt? 


  1. Very true. A difficult situation to navigate through with grace, and many grown ups certainly fall short in this area. It's the child who should be first, there is so much they already need to figure out without everyone else's baggage on them. :(

    Keep your head up, you sound like your head (and heart)is in the right place!

  2. I trully think the worst victims in any divorce are the kids. People never seem to see 'their behavior' as being the problem. Been there, and living it now.